Conclusion 4 - A partner no longer has feelings (part 2)
All the previous steps have made it clear that one of the partners no longer has feelings for the other partner. This does not mean that you should hate each other or cannot love each other. For the partner without feelings, the passion is out of the relationship and it has become, at best, a “brother sister” or a good friendship.
Our experience shows that feeling what is gone does not come back. Feeling is not makeable and a silent hope in the partner with feeling that it is leads to frustration and possibly even depression.
What now?
As partners, you cannot hold each other hostage in a relationship and according to the law, no one has to remain in undivided love. If one of the two partners is not happy in the relationship, he or she has the freedom to take another path.
Especially for the partner who still has feelings, an emotional period has begun. Accepting that an intimate, loving relationship is out of the question takes time, it is a grieving process. This does not mean that the relationship therapy is a waste of time. Both partners have gained insight into themselves and know what the working points are.
Relationship ending
It is nice towards the future if you can end the relationship in a mature way. There will probably be tears involved, but staying unhappy in a relationship only leads to more unhappiness. Being happy is a choice. If you need help to end the relationship in a serene way, you can opt for divorce mediation. This focuses on the needs of both partners and, if applicable, the children. All practical and financial matters are discussed.
Action:
- Be honest with your partner and yourself
- Give space to your partner to process emotions
- Give each other happiness in this life
Work on yourself
Breaking your behavior patterns can be done with the help of a psychotherapist. Learning new patterns of behavior takes time! It is an enrichment for you as a person and a gift to yourself. And when you are ready for a new relationship, you will not make the same ‘mistakes’ again.
- Starting point
- Step 1 – Attachment
- Step 2 – Emotion regulation
- Step 3 – Communication – love languages
- Step 4 – Verbal communication
- Step 5 – Dealing with critisism
- Step 6 – Dealing with conflict
- Step 7 – Intimacy
- Step 8 – Personal development
- Step 9 – Self-Care, Self-Love and Self-respect
- Step 10 – Reflection
- Step 11 – Preparation
- Step 12 – Partner conversation
- Step 13 – Conclusion