Step 6 - Dealing with conflict (part 1)
In every relationship, conflicts occur from time to time. Every person makes mistakes and is negligent once in a while. After you apologize and address the problem, it can also be clarifying. It becomes a problem when you have conflict over the same thing every time.
Conflict prevention is not possible. The goal is to make the conflict situation as short as possible, to treat each other respectfully and to seek a solution.
These conflicts can create so much tension that normal manners are no longer possible. This is also common in an “infidelity” situation.
When does conflict occur?
A conflict arises when your partner (un)consciously crosses your boundaries. By indicating boundaries in time this is prevented. This keeps a positive tension on the relationship.
Border crossings increasingly occur when conflicts are not resolved. This hurts trust in the relationship. By repeatedly going over your boundaries or letting them go, the boundaries become blurred. At some point you no longer recognize your partner.
Living in a conflict situation for a long time causes you to lose energy. An additional consequence can be mental and physical complaints.
Action:
- Take some time to think about how you and your partner deal with conflict.
- Write down some recent incidents where there was conflict and how you did or did not resolve it.
- Lead time: at least 1 week.