Step 3 - Communication (part 1)

Poor communication is at the root of 86% of relationships that end (source: Gary Gartner). You think you are doing your best and yet your partner does not feel appreciated and loved, or not enough. Your partner’s “love tank” is not filled or not filled enough.
This leads to feelings and intimacy seeping out of your relationship. Especially when you use your partner as a doormat. If you use him or her as your servant, he or she cannot be a lover. Or manipulation through a sense of guilt ‘If you were a good partner, you would do this for me. This also applies to coercion through fear ‘Do this or you will regret it’.
In practice, we know of five love languages defined by Gary Chapman. We have summarized them for you into workable variants in our online couples therapy.


  • Step 3 you go through individually.
  • Take your time to read each love language thoroughly.
  • Write down the love language or languages that apply to you and to your partner. You can choose multiple languages, noting a value from 1 to 10 after each love language, where 10 represents very important.
  • Lead time: minimum 1 week (including the 5 love languages).

Discover your love languages:

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