Step 12 - Partner conversation (part 2)
The partner conversation is the first goal you have worked towards in the past 11 steps. You’ve taken a “critical” look at yourself and your relationship and are entering into the conversation with your partner in all serenity, without feeling attacked!
Guidance
The conversation guide, as discussed in step 11, helps you keep structure in the conversation.
The conversation
Listen carefully to what your partner says, do not interrupt, and write down what your partner says. If one of the partners interrupts the other or starts making accusations, end the conversation for 10 minutes. If it turns out that things are still not working out, then it is a good idea to make a new appointment and have a neutral person (possibly a relationship coach) lead the conversation.
Report
If you have chosen to have a neutral person present, he or she may be able to make a discussion report if you wish.
Reflection
There are things said by you and your partner in the conversation that are relatable, confrontational or emotional. Take a week to think about it and feel what it does to you.
Additional partner conversation
You may find that you are now so engaged in conversation that not all topics can be discussed in one partner conversation. If so, you can schedule an additional partner conversation before moving on to step 13.
All topics should be discussed before you take the next step!
Action:
- Find a quiet moment to feel through everything you have discussed.
- Lead time: up to 2 weeks until the next partner meeting.
- Starting point
- Step 1 – Attachment
- Step 2 – Emotion regulation
- Step 3 – Communication – love languages
- Step 4 – Verbal communication
- Step 5 – Dealing with critisism
- Step 6 – Dealing with conflict
- Step 7 – Intimacy
- Step 8 – Personal development
- Step 9 – Self-Care, Self-Love and Self-respect
- Step 10 – Reflection
- Step 11 – Preparation