Step 3e - Physical touch
By physical touch we mean loving touch in the form of holding each other’s hands, kissing, hugging and making love. Physical touch can make or break a relationship, it can express hate or love.
Touching
Our bodies have hundreds of thousands of receptors that can transmit pleasant or hostile touch to the brain. The receptors are not evenly distributed, therefore one part of the body is more sensitive than another. Lack of loving touch can cause skin cravings.
Sex
Touching your partner only when you feel like making love is counterproductive in the long run when touch is your partner’s love language. He or she then does not feel loved or appreciated, but feels like an object.
In men, the desire for sex has a physical cause. The desire to have sex is stimulated by the production of sperm and the seminal fluid in these sperm. A kind of “pressure” is created when the testicles are full. In women, sexual desire is rooted in her feelings. Does she feel that her partner loves, admires and appreciates her, she gets the desire to have sex. If there is no feeling of strong attachment, then there is little physical desire.
Since the man has a physical urge for regular discharge (can also be through masturbation), he can assume that his love language is touch. If he does not enjoy touch at other times without sexual ulterior motive, then touch is not his love language.
Seksuele perikelen in een relatie hebben doorgaans weinig te maken met lichamelijke beperkingen, maar met het bevredigen van emotionele behoeften.
Action:
- Take some time to let physical touch sink in on you as a love language.
- Write down how you experience physical touch and how you think your partner experiences it.