communication - YOUR LOVE

Communication (part 3)

In steps 3 and 4, you looked at the love languages and communication levels between you and your partner. We can have the most wonderful intentions in terms of trust, attention and excitement, without communication and partner love (feeling for the partner) there is no intimacy. Then you don’t have that warm, deep feeling of connection and no loving intimate relationship.

To build a loving intimate relationship, it is important that you and your partner know and “speak” each other’s love language and that the communication level rises at least to 4. It is great if you can reach level 5.

Required

In a loving partner relationship, we need clear communication to express our feelings and emotions. Giving constructive criticism also requires communication. We will regularly touch on the importance of communication in the topics in Part 3.

Feeling safe

To be able to communicate well, you need to feel safe when you are together with your partner. If this is not the case, you will hold back and communication will be deficient, causing tension.

Communicate more consciously

In order to communicate more consciously, that is, better, it is important to realize what communicating is. It is a process of conveying a message to a recipient. This can be done verbally and non-verbally with a certain intention.

What remains of the message depends on what you think you are saying, what you actually say, what the receiver hears, what the other person understands, and what the other person remembers. We speak 125 words per minute, think 300 words per minute and process 800 words per minute.

With this explanation we want to indicate that in the communication process itself there can be a lot of noise. The idea is to be aware of this.

Concluding

Therefore, it is important to make frequent inferences during partner conversations. Example: ‘So if I understand correctly you think I should spend more time with the children’. Whereupon a confirmation or clarification follows. Concluding works well to avoid misunderstandings.

Word choice

What words you use during your conversations with your partner reflects whether you have respect for your partner. This has an effect on trust, attention and tension.

Sending the feeling

The feeling and intonation with which you say something does a lot. If you say, “I love you,” but there is no feeling to it, the message is without value and even undermines trust. Don’t say anything you don’t mean.

Meta-communication

A physical partner conversation about the progress of your relationship involves being able to see, feel and smell each other. The message you want to convey is 7% through the language of words, 28% through intonation and 55% through your body language. By listening attentively and observing during the conversation, you can read between the lines and don’t forget to conclude.