tension - YOUR LOVE

Tension (part 3)

Tension in a positive sense provides you with energy and relaxation by doing things together and individually that you or you love to do. The effect is that you feel relaxed and energized. In a balanced field of tension, you do sacrifice things for each other without losing yourself.

Sexuality

You can have sex with your partner and actually be busy with yourself to the detriment of intimacy. If you want to strengthen intimacy, you can learn tantric love making. A love making session can last for hours, during which everything is allowed and nothing is required.

Tension check

By critically reviewing the questions regularly and answering them for yourself in your notebook, with answers such as Yes, No, Point of Improvement, Not Applicable or Don’t Know, you will have an idea of where improvement is needed.

When you compare to a previous time you answered questions, you are able to observe progress.

Action:

Make a note of the points of interest for the next partner conversation and discuss them.

Questions

Do you experience drudgery in your relationship? If so, how do you or can you break it?
Do you undertake enough fun things together to avoid getting into a rut?
Do you have enough space to do fun things for yourself?
Do you make sure you do enough things for yourself that you don’t get into a rut?
Do you find your partner relaxed?
Do you take good care of yourself so that you look physically attractive?
If you feel the need to express your emotions with others is that not a problem for your partner?
Can you and do you express your emotions to people you trust?
Is your partner open to new things and challenges?
Do you get the space to explore new things and take on challenges?
Do you do new things together or take on challenges?
Do you have enough space to take care of yourself (see also self-care), to have a nice job, relax, pursue hobbies?
Does your partner need you to be happy?
Does your partner ever sacrifice something nice for you?
Does your partner take good care of himself or herself, does he or she have a nice job, enough relaxation and hobbies that make you find him or her attractive?
Have you divided the tasks in the household sufficiently?
Do you have enough social contacts together?
Do you get enough space from your partner to maintain social contacts?
Do you have enough social contacts?
During sex, do you feel like you are having sex together?
Do you dissociate during sex?
Do you make love regularly and is this enough for you?
Can you express all your sexual desires?
Does your partner satisfy your sexual desires?
During sex, do you not have to fake it, can you be completely yourself and surrender to the experience?